Deema’s Self-Care Rituals
Tell us a little about yourself!
I live in San Diego, CA, and I’m a Marriage and Family Therapist. Surfing and riding my bike along the coast are two of my favorite ways to regulate and connect with myself.
What type of ritual are you sharing?
Self-care ritual
Walk us through your ritual step by step.
I usually wake up at 7:00AM, starting my day with stretching and water, followed by a smoothie and coffee before beginning work.
Around 11:30 or 12:00PM, I go surfing for about an hour to an hour and a half, which leaves me feeling clear-headed and energized. On an ideal day, I follow this with a homemade green juice and a quick, colorful meal.
I see clients in the afternoon, and around 7:30PM I begin my bedtime routine, which includes enjoying an herbal tea, taking a shower, doing facial care, and ending the day with red light therapy for my hair and skin. Bonne nuit! :)
Why is this ritual meaningful to you?
If I had to pick one ritual, it would be surfing. It’s so important to me. Surfing drastically impacts my mood and is more than just a physical activity, it’s a mental and spiritual experience.
When I’m in the water, I’m usually the most present and calm. The moment my feet hit the ocean and I start paddling out, I feel truly alive.
Surfing forces you to be present, you’re often alone, you need to watch the waves, and act quickly. It pulls you out of overthinking, grounding you in the moment. Looking at the wide ocean and sky, especially during sunset, always gives me a bigger, happier perspective on life.
I discovered surfing after a breakup and during a psychologically transformative period in my life. The sport challenged many unhealthy patterns I had developed and became a way to test how far I’d come in my healing journey.
Living in Encinitas, CA, by the ocean made it feel natural to learn, and I was determined to master it before my first lesson. After three or four lessons and nearly daily solo practice, here I am.
After surfing, I feel calm, clear-headed, energized, and better able to connect with both myself and others. Now, I can’t imagine living far from the ocean—and it even inspired the name of my private practice: Waves of Therapy.
Any favorite products, tools, or resources you use in your ritual?
Some of my favorite resources are my country music Spotify playlist and my ever-growing collection of therapy books. I also both offer and receive EMDR therapy, which I’d say is one of my favorite mental tools — right alongside my surfboard :)
What advice would you give someone looking to create a similar ritual?
It all starts within, and often we only truly reach that inner space when we hit rock bottom — which is usually when people decide to go to therapy. My advice is to look inward before hitting rock bottom: ask the big questions and learn to sit with big feelings.
For example, if I hadn’t worked on my self-esteem and recognized how I’d spent much of my life abandoning myself to please others, I would have been afraid to “fail or look silly” while learning to surf, worried about what others might think, or doubting whether I could even learn it.
Those thoughts naturally came up, but I was internally motivated and determined to start choosing myself in a healthy way — so I could then show up better for others.
Follow what your heart desires. If your mind fills you with fear or worry-based thoughts, seek therapy, grab a book, listen to a podcast, or talk to a healthy friend. Do whatever it takes to become a psychologically flexible, confident person, and everything else will follow.
Have a favorite ritual? We’d love to share it!